what an awful weather……..:( i don’t like those “dark days” when it isn’t raining but there are lots of clouds and no sun…. especially when we have the second day of Easter… I have no idea what can i do today, I have done everything what i should and now i’m waiting for my friends’ call, mabye we’ll go to the pub or wherever….every year we meet together, /those who meet every day and those who live in the UK or USA now (they come back to their homes on Easter); ok, i donnot know what i should write here today….it’s worthless….
Easter – the time to think about new things which can be in our lives, new opportunities and chances.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
(Martin Luther King).
I wish You all the best not only during Easter but also in every day. May You have a blessed Easter filled with Christ’s love.
i think i have found my real love. he is such an intelligent, brilliant, loving man. He takes care of me like an older brother;)
So many things’ve changed in my life; i taught how to be more patient and careful. Everything what’s new brings new experiences to life; i didn’t expect so many things, i have always been so realistic but now i know that a man should be both optimistic and realistic – it makes easier to understand the whole world…..believe me or not. And LOVE which appears out of the blue is the best experience in my life, i have never believed that i can meet someone like Krzysiek.
10 strange things that men do…
… that can only be explained by a primeval reflex to show off to potential mates
Sunday April 9, 2006
1 Cycling with no hands. Why? With folded arms is particularly obnoxious.
2 Throwing things in the air and catching them in their mouths. Sweets, nuts, cigarettes. Presumably it is supposed to demonstrate coordination. If it worked, women would regularly fall in love with seals.
3 Undoing bra straps with one hand. They think it shows confidence and experience. It’s just sleazy.
4 Wearing massive boxer shorts. Why do men do this? Best guess is that they flatter themselves that their giant organs need the spare capacity.
5 Whistling. Presumably once a mating call, redundant since we evolved for speech. It is never musical, except at the end of ‘(Sittin’ on) the Dock of the Bay’ by Otis Redding.
6 Carrying a big bunch of keys. Suggests ownership of big cave.
7 Driving around in white vans with one wireless phone headset in each ear. Suggests potential to be rugged fighter pilot.
8 Making a fuss. ‘Waiter, this wine is corked!’ Dates back to Neolithic times when weak cavemen could achieve alpha status by annoying other males into submission.
9 Wearing hair gel. Robbie shouldn’t, nor should you.
10 Goatee beards. Anthropologists say it indicates civilised manliness: ‘I produce lots of hair, but I deftly sculpt it with my razor.’
haha, yeah…..I also had an article about women but now i can’t find it:)
Are all men the same??
Wrrrr……I was so pissed off yesterday evening. After sledging with my friends (yeah, I know…so childlish;) )I met my boyfriend K. He told me that he’ll be at 9pm in the pub…guess what?? I was waiting for him more than an hour!! It was for the first time but he could have told me that he’ll be later or something….whatever. Fortunately I met my friend Ania and we talked a lot while I was waiting for K. Then of course he promised me that he’ll never do this again…etc. After spending some time with him I came back home and he came to his best friend…wrrrr (I like his friend a lot, Peter, aged 28) But guess what they did? Like all men tired after work (yeah…their work isn’t as hard as you might think, they both work as bosses in their own company) they wanted to drink some beer and…..my K. a bit drunk sent me more that 25 txt messages (e.g. “I miss you”, I’m sorry”, “I promise that…” etc – I think almost all of them were lies)…..he really pissed me off.
Are all men are the same? really? I don’t believe in stereotypes but….
The article may interest you if you are interested in what’s happening in my country – Poland.
The article is about domestic violence…
The atricle taken from http://www.polandmonthly.pl
According to lifestyle pundits, the maturing of girl-power has put modern European women on the crest of a proverbial wave. They are financially, intellectually and sexually independent and, compared with men, are better skilled, better educated and better communicators. “The question we should be asking,” quips the BBC’s lifestyle reporter Dionne St Hill, “is not ‘what do women want, but what are men for?’” Rosalind Coward, a professor of journalism at Roehampton University and the author of many books on gender issues, agrees: “Modern woman,” she says, “has an inbuilt moral superiority from which men are excluded: she works, has her family, and does everything in the home.
But away from the lifestyle features lurks a somewhat different picture of modern woman. The arrest in England late last year of 24-year-old Polish factory worker Tomasz Stepniewski on charges of sexually assaulting nine women surprised the British police. The surprise did not concern his behavior; such crimes are not uncommon in the UK. What surprised them was his explanation. Such behavior, Stepniewski said, was considered “cultural naughtiness” in Poland and was not against the law. Stepniewski, so his lawyer claimed, did not realize he had done anything wrong.
Of equal surprise to the police was the comment of his female interpreter, Russian-born Svetlana Purkis. “Eastern European women are more flirtatious,” she said. “[A] man can get away with it, even if a female doesn’t like it.”
The British police may have been surprised, but Tomasz Babiarz of the University of Adam Mickiewicz in Poznañ and the city council’s From Violence to Solution organization, which deals with domestic violence, is not: “Unfortunately, the case of Stepniewski isn’t that surprising,” he says. “Part of the problem women face in Poland is the stereotype both they and men have of the role of women. A woman is expected to be a domestic hand in the home and the property of men when it comes to having sex.”
So much for girl power. Now throw into the equation a recent EU report claiming that Poland is the most sexist country in Europe, and police statistics which show that in 2005 there were 96,733 reported cases of domestic violence against women in Poland, an increase of over 5 percent on the previous year, and the jolly banter about women and girl power becomes simply puerile.
Domestic violence is rife across Europe, but Poland is one of the worst perpetrators, and the figures make for disturbing reading. One third of all murders committed in Poland are the result of what the law euphemistically refers to as domestic incidents—and women are the victims.
Some 37 percent of the population knows somebody who has been a victim of domestic violence and 41 percent of women say they know another woman who has been violently abused by her partner. “Domestic violence is widespread and reaches every corner of society,” Babiarz said. “It does not respect class, culture or wealth. A woman from a good, middle-class family is as likely to be a victim as one from a poor village.”
It is not only the ubiquity of domestic violence that is of concern though. The mentality of society toward the problem also is cause for concern. Amnesty International’s £ukasz Pos³uszny is co-founder of the Poznañ branch of Men Fighting for Equality (MFE): “This is still very much a taboo subject in Poland,” he explains. “There is the belief that what goes on behind closed doors should stay there – that people shouldn’t wash their dirty linen in public. Domestic violence is Poland’s silent epidemic.”
This “silent epidemic” is something experts agree needs to be overcome. In addition to widespread media campaigns and billboards, one of the key places they agree this should start is in schools. “Teaching young people to fight against stereotypes is extremely important,” says Babiarz, “because they are the future.”
And according to Andrea Haynes, who has been working for over 15 years with both offenders and victims of domestic abuse 80 percent of male offenders were either themselves victims or witnesses of domestic violence. “This is learned behavior,” she says, adding that it needs to be tackled at a young age.
It is also important because the views young boys have of gender relations are deeply disturbing, says MFE’s Pos³uszny, who has recently been conducting workshops in local schools. “At the beginning of the workshops, the boys (aged between 12 and 14) were asked to give their opinions on how men should respect women,” he said. “The type of things they said were, ‘men should let women go through doors first,’ and, ‘men should fight to protect their woman.’ We then asked them what they believe are the features of a real man. They replied with things like, ‘real men should be physically and mentally strong and like beer.’”
But there is hope, believes Po³uszny. “At the end of one workshop I saw in the faces of the boys that they were shocked by the realization and truth about masculinity,” he says. “They understood the importance of being themselves rather than something defined or constructed.”
It is not just the young who need educating though. “Many women believe that they are somehow responsible or deserving of their partner’s violence,” say Agata Teutsch and Monika Serkowska, trainers with the Poznañ-based women’s group WenDo—an international organization aimed at providing support and help to victims of domestic violence.
Haynes agrees. “Over time, women who are regularly insulted, humiliated and shouted at by their partners begin to feel worthless,” she says. “If everyday they are told, ‘You are ugly, stupid, disgusting,’ they will eventually begin to believe it especially as it comes from someone they love.”
In Poland, 48 percent of women suffer from psychological abuse such as this, which often is a precursor to violence. “It very often happens that a woman who is verbally abused is likely to be physically abused too,” says Haynes. “And the offender will often justify the violence by blaming it on the woman. It’s all about having control.”
It is this which, in part, WenDo is seeking to overcome. “We spend a lot of time with women teaching them that any blame they feel for having ‘provoked’ or ‘failed to prevent’ violent attempts to dominate and control them is emphatically wrong,” Teutsch says. “We also inform women of their rights under the law and what they can do in the event of being attacked.”
A third group requiring attention is that of the male offenders. According to Babiarz, one of the key causes of domestic violence is a sense of helplessness and frustration on behalf of the offender and for many of them “aggression is the only outlet for dealing with this,” he said. He thus runs courses for men who have been convicted of domestic violence abuse. “The first step is to teach them to admit that they are offenders,” he said. “Often men don’t see themselves as such. The second step is to teach them how to avoid resorting to violence.”
For all the good work that is being attempted, though, there are still large areas of ground yet to be covered. The law is one such area. Normally, offenders are not sent to prison but given a two-year suspended sentence. Invariably this means the violence continues unchecked. “The way the law is interpreted and executed doesn’t work,” says Babiarz. “One reason is the difficulty of finding witnesses who agree to testify. People want to ignore it, they want to be ignorant because it’s easier and more comfortable. Another problem,” he continues, “is the inherent bias towards men. There is no place for offenders to be sent and therefore it is the woman who has to leave the family home – a sort of double punishment for her. Yet another problem is the difficulty of providing proof. A woman has to prove that she has been assaulted for over half a year before an offender can be charged.”
Proving this is far from straight forward, however. Either the victim is simply not believed or cannot get satisfactory enough evidence for courts to accept. In Poznañ alone, 80 percent of cases do not reach court because of this.
According to the law an alleged victim has to pay between PLN 50 and PLN 100 for a legally appointed doctor to carry out an examination. The doctor will then decide whether she has been subjected to domestic violence or not.
The flaw in this system is striking, and is known only too well by Mrs K. who suffered years of physical and psychological abuse at the hands of her husband. After a particularly nasty beating that left her with two black eyes and a cracked lip, she succumbed to the pleas of her daughter and paid for an examination. The doctor couldn’t say for sure whether Mrs K.’s injuries were a result of her husband’s violence or of her “slipping on the stairs.”
Mrs K. then decided to take photographs of the baseball bat her husband kept by the bed and which he threatened to use on her. Again, this was rejected as inconclusive since, according to the police, she could have put it there herself. It didn’t help that her husband was a local councilor and well-respected in their local community.
Eventually, she did nothing, simply because she didn’t know what to do. At 53-years-old she didn’t want to leave her home or her children and move into a shelter. Besides, in her town in western Poland, there weren’t any shelters. And so she stayed.
The general attention given to domestic violence say the Polish branch of NEWW (The Network of East-West Women) is minimal. “Measures such as restraining orders and temporary arrests are not widely used, appropriate protection is not afforded to victims, shelters do not exist in many places, and training for law enforcement officers is inadequate,” it said.
Consequently, the case of Mrs K. is typical of many women in Poland, helped neither by the law nor, says WenDo’s Serkowska, by the government. “There use to be the office of Equal Status of Men and Women headed by Magdalena Œroda,” she says. “She was quite good and organized media campaigns, demonstrations and billboards, and introduced the ‘Blue-Card’ system, whereby police were required to collect information about all reported acts of violence against women. “The police were also instructed to inform the victim of her rights and what she could do vis-a-vis going to court,” Serkowska says.
That was under the previous administration. Now, according to Serkowska, the current government is doing nothing. “The first thing the new government did was to abolish Mrs Œroda’s office,” Serkowska says. “Now, there is a body, much lower in status, belonging to the Ministry of Social Issues and Labor, called the Department for Family, Women and Discrimination. But this is a department for family, not women and the government only has it because EU law says they must. The head of this department is Joanna Kluzik and she doesn’t do anything for women. She just takes her paycheck every month.”
The blue-card system remains but, according to Babiarz, is not as effective as it could be: “The idea of the blue cards is good but the police have too much work and domestic violence is not a priority,” he said. “Meanwhile, the tendency towards domestic violence will continue increasing.”
Help is at hand, however. In November last year (2006) the Council of Europe launched a campaign to be run by the Congress of Local and Regional Authorities in Poland aimed at raising public awareness. “[Domestic] Violence must be fought by individuals, by communities and by states,” the council told Poland Monthly. “The campaign emphasizes that this is a problem that concerns everyone and which everyone can play their part in addressing – and who better than authorities at grass-roots level who deal with the direct effects of such violence on a tragically daily basis?”
The congress is planning to organize a conference later this year to explore, “the different avenues available to local and regional authorities in the fight against violence against women with an emphasis on awareness-raising, protection of victims and training of actors involved with victims such as law enforcement and social services.”
This is welcome news for many, even if it is from abroad. n Ed Wight
haha, I’m 23 years old (9th January had a birthday party – it was crazy) and my friends had an extreme idea – “Let’s go sledging!”. It is snowing so much in Poland that in our free time we don’t know what to do;) after sledging we’ll probably go to the pub to drink some beer or a cup of tea with some rum:) It’s gonna to be extremely-fabulously crazy:)
Oh, and I totally forgot to mention about my birthday paty. We went to the “Music Bar” in Cracow, we spent nice time, we were dancing, kidding and drinking:) The party was great! I didn’t expect that so many of my freind’d come (more than 20 of them). I love my friends, friendship is really important in human’s life, especially in mine.
True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost
Charles Caleb Colton